Norman Fucking Rockwell!

First, the track by track review.

Norman fucking Rockwell

Probably my favorite track on the album. The strings in the background feel so cinematic, the piano reminiscent of the past and Hollywood-hotel baby grand, and the lyrics are as good as Lana always knows how to make them:

Your poetry’s bad and you blame the news
But I can’t change that and I can’t change your mood
‘Cause you’re just a man,
It’s just what you do
Your head in your hands as you color me blue

Self-loathing poet, resident Laurel Canyon know-it-all
You talk to the walls when the party gets bored of you
But I don’t get bored, I just see it through
Why wait for the best when I could have you?

The melody is also just so well done, and Lana’s voice soars with the flooding of the chorus and the way the song builds up is so good. Also the subtle horns going on with the production and as a closer to the song are so lovely. It all feels like you’re blowing through some warm summertime past, and I don’t know man, it’s just so good.

Listen to it!

Mariners Apartment Complex

Lana released this song last year as a single (and a really good one too).

The lyrics are definitely the stand out on this song:

I ain’t no candle in the wind
I’m the board, the lightning, the thunder
Kind of girl who’s gonna make you wonder
Who you are and who you’ve been

They’re not particularly genius, no, but they’re definitely empowering and introduce an unexpectedly fresh take from Lana Del Rey on relationships (at least in comparison to her album Ultraviolence e.g. “He hit me and it felt like a kiss” 😬 ) And the slow build up of the song, from Lana lazily drawling out “You took my sadness out of context” to her ending line “Baby, baby, baby, I’m your man” swoops you up in this tidal wave of emotions and growth and all that other good stuff™. I think it’s a nice, overwhelming — no, actually perfectly whelming — piece.

Now, a bit of a detour. Sarah and I have this joke (?) that we are slowly converging. Sometimes we’ll just independently be the exact same person, e.g. both stumble upon a song and agree that it’s the greatest thing.

But, plot twist… is the convergence failing?
I (Sarah) don’t really vibe with that song so much. It’s like, alright. I’m not sold on the strumming and individual guitar note plucks and the overall melody of the entire song. I think the one moment that’s super nice is around 1:48-2:00 and 3:10-3:17, where her voice echoes and goes: “I’m your man!” But like 12 + 7 = 19 seconds of good vibes in the midst of 4:07 seconds of okay-ness just doesn’t cut it.

We stand divided—go decide for yourself!

Venice Bitch

It’s long and not really worth the time. We may have said this before but any song longer than four minutes should have to work for the extra time — spice things up with some really fucking good lyrics, or a beat drop, or pull a Kanye West and just slap 5 minutes of some massive fucking distortion on it, or do a Frank and just straight up splice up a couple of interviews. The instrumental and her brief singing in the last 4 minutes of the song are like…fine, but not interesting enough to warrant its appendage to the end of the song. Also hot take: the melody of the post-chorus (“You’re in the yard, I light the fire…”) is good but the melody of the verse and the chorus itself just isn’t vibes. Like the whole two-note situation just doesn’t gel, yeah?

Skip ):

Fuck it I love you

The main refrain, “Fuck it, I love you,” is really nice and relatable™, but the melody on the verse and pre-chorus is not as vibes. It’s not really my thing at all, in fact. And generally I’d say with songs where the production isn’t as wild or out there, you need to spice it up with the melodies (and lyrics, of course, but Lana’s got that covered).

The Dream A Little Dream of me reference is is charming, and her muted voice at times are decently cool, however.

It does alright.

Doin’ Time

This is definitely the most famous song on the album (i.e. it’s on the radio). I (Anika) personally think it’s a great song to drink shit on the beach to. It’s catchy and groovy and a perfectly good cover to a perfectly good song. I’ll admit, it definitely didn’t add a twist to Sublime’s original version, but for whatever reason I really like Lana’s voice on this baby.

But the convergence is looking shaky.
I don’t really vibe with the melody, the almost-trappy vibe on the beat, and when Lana says: “to represent the L.B.C.”, I just can’t help the visceral cringe reaction I have. “This ain’t it, chief.” -Sarah

We don’t agree, again :0

Love song

The beginning instrumentals are low key a religious experience; it sounds like chapel music on synth vibes — and are definitely more interesting than the sounds on other songs in this album. We love ourselves the Lana Talking About Deep Shit Over Music Experience™ — and that’s definitely what this song was going for — but the shit wasn’t deep enough and the talk wasn’t talk enough for us. Also, again, it’s a long song, and it definitely gets boring after the second minute.

• a little long a little boring
• liked but not super liked

It’s like worth a try?

Cinnamon Girl

On the lyrics front: “If you hold me without hurting me, you’ll be the first who ever did.” Interesting refrain, Lana, but also for some reason relatable. 😳 (Hey Lana, pro tip: can’t get hurt if you’re just bros)

In terms of the production™: The melding of the bass and instrumental and the “zipping” noises in the background are kind of hype. The flooding in of the strings around 3:30 is super lovely, because strings are always the move. But without a major change in vibes or a “switch”, the song feels low-key way too long for what it is. And also sounds really similar to the previous songs on the album.

It does okay.

How to disappear

The instrumental is super nice, it’s something you immediately want to sway to. And the lyrics have moments of pure sweetness:

What you been up to, my baby?

Which if you think about it, is just the sophisticated, infinitely more charming version of the late-night “wyd rn?” text. Take notes, people.

And during the second verse when the bells come in in the background, and then afterwards you can feel the intensity increase, and it’s just like…WHOA, BANGER ALERT! The jingle bells vibes are just what we’re going for, and definitely contain some strokes of geniosity.

This song is probably supposed to be melancholy but low-key we’re pretty sure it’s a dance song.

Yeah!

California

Points for the title: we love California. GO BEARS! 🐻 🐻 🐻

Her voice sounds nice, as usual, and when the intensity of the song turns up at “I’ll pick you up, if you come back to America,” it’s kind of nice. But again, it’s kind of long for what it is, and is again very similar to a lot of the other songs on the album.

S’okay.

The Next Best American Record

The lyrics are pretty charming: when she says “He was cool as heck,” I can never help but laugh out loud, because heck. The titular chorus line: “We were so obssessed with writing the next best American record,” is super, super good as well. It makes you want to sing along to it so much. The intensity and hype turn up at the chorus is super, super nice. But again, it’s a little long for the amount of substance it contains (kind of like our album reviews?? 😳)

Hmmm, pretty good.

The greatest

This is a really, really good nostalgia song — the type of nostalgia song that makes you look back at experiences you definitely haven’t had (or had yet — “The culture is lit and I had a ball” is what I’m definitely planning to say about college when it’s finally over). The production™ of this song is top-notch. The instrumentation fits both the theme and Lana’s voice (like at ~ 2 minutes where the piano slows down for Lana’s sing-talking), and has enough interesting elements (like the foghorn at 1:35) to justify the song’s length. Plus, Lana has some stellar one-liners on this song, such as “Don’t leave I just need a wake up call” or “I hope the live stream is almost on“ as her ending line. The fire motif in her lyrics — “The nights were on fire”, “The culture is lit”, “I guess I’m burned out”, “Hawaii just missed that fireball”, “L.A. is in flames” really fits in with the surround-sound electric guitar instrumentation in the background. This song is like the end of a movie, in which our heroine walks away from the burning building of her past, she’s rocking some hardcore combat boots, her face, streaked with ash, is cool, composed, but as she looks directly into the camera there’s a bit of regret in her eyes as she tells us “I guess I’m signing off after all.” And then the screen fades to black.

(Side note: that Kanye lyric is kinda funny though. One of her last lines is “Kanye is blond and gone” which is hilarious in all of the meanings of gone. He’s still the best artist of our time, though. Sorry, Lana.)

Kanye’s the GOAT, but yes.

Bartender

It’s like, fine. Not sure what a “bart tender” is though, and she sang those two (2) words for the last minute of the song.

Eh.

Happiness is a butterfly

This is actually a good song but holy shit we’ve been reviewing for so long. Take our word for it that it’s a banger, please. Also don’t date serial killers, Lana.

Sure.

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it

This is stripped down, only Lana singing over a soft, muted keyboard. It’s also emotionally vulnerable and the songwriting is raw and poetic and all that good shit:

Tearing around in my fucking nightgown,
24/7 Sylvia Plath
Writing in blood on the walls

‘Cause the ink in my pen don’t work on my notepad

Serving up God in a burnt coffee pot for the triad
Hello, it’s the most famous woman you know on the iPad
Calling from beyond the grave, I just wanna say, “Hi, Dad”

And when she finally ends the song with the refrain that’s been going through the whole song: “Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have,” but then adds, her voice breathy and melodic and high-pitched:

But I have it
Yeah, I have it
Yeah, I have it
I have

You literally feel something inside you coalescing.

Yes!

Overall Thoughts:

It’s the same thing as with a lot of artists’ albums: while there isn’t necessarily a egregiously bad song on the album, the songs are too long for what they are and too similar, so that if you listen to them in one sitting or the album as a whole all together you just become exhausted. However, the album also isn’t too experimental or weird or Innovative and Disruptive™, so that compounds the mental fatigue you get from it.

That being said, Lana’s songwriting is something wonderful, and her voice can be ethereal and like floating. The first and last track are standouts and some songs in between are bangers. If nothing else, do give them a listen.

The Culinarity™ Score:

Want an explanation of our scoring system? See here.